The Adult Child

Adulthood is odd, when you’re young it is so easy to look at it as a shining beacon of freedom, no bed time, no school, no parents telling you what to do. Of course once you get to adulthood you realise bed time is replaced with being knackered from being busy all the time, school is replaced with work. Which is even more boring a lot of the time, unless your lucky enough to have made it into your dream career but few my age have, we’re all languishing in crappy jobs or on job seekers. And of course their are still plenty of people telling you what to do. The scariest thing about adulthood has to be that now it’s down to you, if you don’t have enough money you don’t make the rent, you don’t get heating, you don’t get to eat, if you don’t like your job or it doesn’t pay enough, it’s down to you to find another one. You have to drag yourself to the computer after work, when your tired and you just want to watch tv, and scour job pages and fill in applications and then immediately dismiss it because you know ninety nine times out of a hundred you’ll never hear a peep out of them.

Would we really go back to childhood, would we go back to that world, I suppose that depends on what your childhood was like. Childhood is all about being cared for, being protected so it really depends on how well you were cared for, how well you were protected. I had to grow up fast when my Dad died, he committed suicide in 2000 when I was eleven. When that happens you are suddenly faced with the fact that the people you rely on to provide for you, protect you and care for you aren’t as strong as you thought before. That was the day my childhood ended, from then on I never saw things the same as the other kids, I never trusted as much. Still to this day I like to know what’s happening, to have a backup plan, to have a way out, to be in control. The fact is of course we are never in control, not really, we can never be in control of everything.

I found a better protector three years later in 2003 when I felt the love of God for the first time, felt his forgiveness. I knew that day that God knew everything about me and he still wanted me, I knew that day that God wanted to hold me and protect me and I knew that day that he was absolutely strong enough to do that. This summer it will be ten years since I became a Christian. For ten years I have been loved and cared for and protected by my God. I know that I can do very little but I know a God who can do abundantly more than I could ever ask or imagine. I know my God loves you too, he can be your protector as well.

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