Once in a while, without having been aware of it while it was happening, I stop and look at myself and realise I’m different. The things that I like have changed, the things that I wear, the way that I approach life. Change sort of sneaks up on me. That may have something to do with the way I so often throw on the brakes when I see a change coming but I think that when it’s a good change you don’t see it up on the horizon, when it’s a good change we never seem to think it’s really going to happen even when it has pretty much already happened. There is always that doubt of, do I deserve it? Am I really getting what I want?
I watched a film last night (She’s Out Of My League). In the film the bloke has bagged a really hot really nice, loving girl, he didn’t really even have to try, she asked him out. So he’s with this great girl and she’s into him and he’s into her. He ends the relationship because he’s convinced that she is a 10, that she is perfect and that he is a 5, maybe a 6, he’s convinced that it can’t work because he isn’t good enough for her.
We do just what Kirk did in the movie, we walk away from good things, doubt that good things are really happening to us, we look for the catch and get ourselves on edge ready to run when it all inevitably falls apart. Just like Kirk in the film, it’s not that we aren’t good enough for her or for the things that we dream of, it’s that we aren’t good enough for ourselves. It’s that we don’t think we’re good enough so we doubt people who say we are and we doubt good stuff that starts happening, we sabotage ourselves.
Not everyone is like this, at least I don’t think so but I reckon a lot more people have this sort of problem than would like to admit it.
Next time someone says you’re great, believe them, next time you get something you’ve been hoping for, believe it, believe that it is here to stay, it is not gonna be snatched away when some cosmic force of the universe realises you aren’t good enough. If you can start to think you are good enough for yourself then you can start to believe you are good enough for others.
God never asked us to be perfect, he just wants us to know that we aren’t but that our imperfection doesn’t stop him loving us. Our friends and partners don’t want us to be perfect, they want us to accept that we aren’t and that they love us with all our imperfections.
God Bless you wonderful imperfect people.