You don’t need to have answers. We all love answers, solutions, rules, we love to think we have it worked out, that is that the end. Answers make us comfortable because even if it’s an answer we don’t like that much any answer is better than having no clue what is going on and floundering in confusion. Right.
A lot of times the biggest most life altering things aren’t moments that come and change everything but situations that develop and grow and become huge and confusing and at these times other people can be tempted to pull back. They haven’t got the answers to the huge questions, circumstances and problems we’re facing so it is easier to pull away. The answers don’t matter that much when your going through stuff you just need people to show they care and to listen to you.
As those who have read some of my other posts may know my Dad committed suicide when I was eleven. The night we found out I was just going to bed when the police rang the doorbell. I remember sitting at the top of the stairs just out of sight listening to the policeman telling my Mum they had found Dad. At least they thought it was Dad, they needed Mum to go to the morgue to identify the body. She called a couple we know, they came straight away and they sat with us (me and my brother) while Mum went with the police and when Mum came back they stayed and took care of all three of us all through the night. They didn’t have any answers, they had no idea what to say but they were there, they showed they cared, they were exactly what we needed that night and they kept turning up, kept caring about us, kept helping us as much as they could afterwards. They still look out for us.
I’ve never appreciated an answer to a problem as much as I appreciated the care of people who had no answers but plenty of love. Some questions we face will never have answers but sometimes we don’t need an answer, we just need someone to care.